ARTICLE : Dear Mother, I fell in love for you, for the Society and the Culture

BY DOLAPO OJO

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Dear Mother, Did you ever for once think that I might never have wanted to get married? That I loved my 'singleness'. You kept shouting marriage, marriage! When you fully well know our generation is a scam. Both the ladies and the men are full of lies and deceit. Heavens mother!, you need to see the way our ladies cheat so bad and how our men lie,cheat. On several occasions Maami, I have met men that were seemingly serious only for me to see their prewedding photos just at the point I was about to say yes to a relationship with them. Jesu!

Mother, while I was growing up, you knew how much I loved love. Ehn! But remember what I suffered in the hands of Bukunola. 6 years of misery in our courtship before I finally took a walk when a chair landed on my head. Thank God it was a wooden chair that Bukunola used and not an iron chair.  Maami, you were there to nurse my wounds while you kept thanking your ancestors for the kind of head they passed down to their younger generations.

Maami, I hate to bring up the relationship you had with Father. I've never wanted to have someone like Baba as a husband, iron man!. All the times he'll beat me and my brothers like it wasn't God that created us and you dared not say anything. Do you remember?  Though he took great care of us by providing us with the material things we needed! Where was the care? Thank God for old age that has softened him up a bit. 

Mother you are very lucky I found my Akanji or should I say that he found me. Though your naggings didn't let me rest, I could almost have gone into the wrong hands. Thank God I remained stubborn.

Dear Society and Culture,

Can you please mind your business? You already have an age limit for marriage? Very good! O ma ga o! Just before I met my Akanji, I remember Luku, my childhood playmate asking me stupid questions 'Why aren't you married? You still want to be doing fine girl abi?' My God, I felt like I was 'hammered' on the head. Thank God for God. Luku would have poisoned himself if I had given him the reply that was in my head. The one that involved why his head is abnormally long at the back!

E gba mi! Is it your marriage?

Radarada society, if we don't marry, problem! If we marry and we start having serious issues in our marriage. You'll say who sent her? Is it by force to marry?

Mama Agatha thank you o. Because Agatha has been married for years now, you didn't allow my own mother to rest because I am her only daughter. Well it is not my own mouth that I will use to ask you why Agatha hasn't ever conceived since she got married.

Even Pastor was on Father's neck concerning my case. Thank you o! Please where is it written in the Bible that I must get married!

Social media, I hail thee. All the things we see ehn! They can almost make you want to relocate from Earth to Mars. You see people getting proposed to and getting married every weekend (though we know where social media relationships end). You start wondering if you have spiritual problems. You'll even start considering marrying without love! Hmmm.

Dear Sam,

Akanji mi, love of my life I won't lie that you came and swept me off my feet at the time when I had sworn never to get married. You were/are totally different from all the men I had previously met. The ones that made me close off from all men though the society, culture and my mum didn't let me do that in peace. They believed it was a spiritual problem. Imagine some even started asking if I was a lesbian! Thank you for coming to prove them wrong. Thank you for being. an exceptional man. Thank you for changing my mind. Thank you for marrying me! Thank you for being a great father to our child.